someday

dear my future self..
how are u? today when I am writing this I am in my room crying. the moon is so beautiful tonight. i feel so small and ashamed. I really don't wish for a long life, I just hope by my time come I already fulfill my role as a daughter to make my mom proud and can pay back everything she has done for me. so please never stop on whatever you're doing right now.. I know things can get very hard at times, but remember that we've been going through a lots lots to even stop. you can cry and feel sad and broken but please don't ever give up.
its really hard right now. I feel bad for mom I feel bad that she has to going through so much and the fact that I can't help her because I am just as broken as she is..
mom I am sorry that I can't become the person you hopes for.. I am sorry for being so weak and useless.. I am really trying to actually become someone who can makes you happy but feeling happy about myself at the same time.
for my sisters and my only brother I am sorry that I can't be the best sister and always be a burden to all of you.. you guys don't understand how much all of you means to me.. I always hope that someday I can make all of you happy.